Required Reading (and watching, eating, etc.): October Edition
Brought to you by the chaos of October, including documentaries that'll wreck you and deflated disco balls.
This month’s roundup is brought to you by the chaos of October: documentaries that will wreck your soul (in a good way?), deflated disco balls, and a few survival tips for navigating the ninth circle of hell, also known as your middle-schooler’s group Halloween costume.
So grab a cup of something caffeinated or comforting—or both, if it’s one of those weeks—and dig in.
P.S. If you’re still looking for the cure for being human...this isn’t it. But it’s close. I partnered with my beloved neighborhood coffee shop, Joe Van Gogh, to bring you a special blend that tastes like resilience and a little bit of cinnamon. Probably. Check it out here!
AND, because every sacred beverage deserves a vessel of equal dignity: we’ve added new mugs to the shop. They’re adorable. They’re dishwasher safe. They won’t fix your life, but they will hold your coffee…which is kinda the same thing?
Happy sipping (and reading/watching/listening/laugh-crying).
THINGS I’M WATCHING
THIS episode with Catherine Newman
For the ones who live with their hearts outside their chests—who love like it’s their full-time job and fear like it’s a side hustle—this one’s for you. You can listen on Apple and Spotify, too.
Why You’ll Love It: Because Catherine Newman is the kind of person who will sit with you in your feelings…and accidentally bring up dog calendars while you’re dying. (Yes, really.) We talk about parenting, hospice, anxiety, joy, and how loving people makes you both completely wrecked and wildly lucky.
Dept Q (Netflix)
Department Q follows a grumpy, grief-y detective who’s been benched after a tragedy leaves him guilt-ridden and alone. But what begins as punishment turns into a strange kind of calling as Carl Morck and his oddball team reopen cold cases.
Why You’ll Love it: This isn’t just another crime show. It’s twisty and soulful and pithy and fundamentally about what happens when someone’s buried pain finally demands to be seen—and how even the most broken people can be part of making things right.
The Alabama Solution (HBO Max)
This harrowing documentary reveals a system where death is common, justice is rare, and those in power look away.
Why You’ll Love It: Because some stories must be told plainly. This is a gut-level look at suffering behind bars—and the sacred insistence that every life needs a witness, even the ones society tries hardest to forget.
THINGS I’M LOVING
Sad Disco Ball
DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS?!
The Children’s Grief Foundation of Canada
The Children’s Grief Foundation of Canada is a national charity with a simple, sacred mission: to make it easier for bereavement agencies to care for grieving children. They do this by easing financial barriers so more programs can reach the kids who need them most.
Thanks to their growing network—from Nova Scotia to Vancouver—more children and their families are being met in their hardest moments with real help. Gentle, practical, human help. You can learn more or follow their work here. This is the kind of presence we love to see.
Pretty Kudzu
Can we all pause for a collective moment of autumnal awe??
Yes, yes, I know kudzu is an invasive menace and will probably eat my fencing by Tuesday—but have you seen those colors? Somewhere in this viney apocalypse is a lesson about resilience…or at least dramatic flair.
How to Escape the 7th Circle of Middle School Hell
(according to Patron Saint of Teenagers, Dr. Lisa Damour)
If you’re IN IT RIGHT NOW with middle-schoolers and Halloween, I hope this helps.
THINGS I’M READING
The Great Friendship Flattening (The Atlantic)
This piece names how our deepest relationships now compete for attention alongside emails, ads, notifications, and the app for our doorbell. It gets at something we feel but rarely say: how hard it is to keep love tender and real in a world that keeps flattening our connections into scrollable content. This is a gentle, honest invitation to pay attention to what matters most.
After Years of Living with Grief, Joy Has Moved In (NYT)
After the unimaginable loss of his daughter, a father describes what it’s like to live in the long, silent aftermath—the way it clobbers you, again and again, even years later. But in this deeply honest essay, he gently names a stage of grief not often talked about. One that doesn’t erase the sorrow, but lets in a strange, surprising joy. For anyone who’s carried their grief like a second skin, this piece offers language for what healing might feel like—not a fix, but a moment of beauty in the brokenness.
What AI Companions Are Missing (Substack, Adam Grant)
In this thoughtful essay, Adam explores why AI companions leave us emotionally underfed, naming what’s missing: the mutuality, friction, and humanness that real relationships require. This essay reminds us of something we know in our bones: love isn’t just being heard—it’s being of service. Especially in a world that keeps offering easier substitutes to the magic and mess of real connection.
BOOKS ON MY NIGHTSTAND
The Road to Tender Hearts by Annie Hartnett
This is about a grumpy lottery winner, two orphaned kids, one reluctant adult daughter, and a death-predicting cat named Pancakes—all crammed into a car on a cross-country road trip. They stumble through grief, old secrets, and the surprising ways love reshapes what we call family. Tender, odd, and delightful—a perfect combo.
Wreck by Catherine Newman
If you fell in love with Rocky and her family on vacation in Cape Cod (Sandwich), you’ll feel right at home here—two years later, back in the regular chaos of life. Catherine Newman captures the ache and hilarity of ordinary days: adult kids, aging parents, and the quiet dread of things we hope never come. It’s about love, neuroses, and the beautiful weirdness of family. (psst..she was my guest this week on Everything Happens, in case you missed it, here’s a link to watch the full episode.) I also can’t recommend her book We All Want Impossible Things enough.
WHAT I’M LISTENING TO
P.S. Advent starts on Sunday, November 30 this year! And you are exactly where you need to be. I’ll be sharing daily reflections right here on Substack this year. Stay tuned!
But if you’d rather have something to download, we’ve got you. All of our downloadable Advent guides are evergreen and gathered in one place. Pick the one that fits the season you’re in. Browse our Advent collection.
What are you watching/reading/loving these days? Tell me in a comment!
I love seeing what everyone's reading and watching! I head to court tomorrow for a final divorce (unexpected and announced a few days after we dropped off our daughter at college who had stage IV high-risk cancer when she was 4/5). The gift of being able to lose myself in characters onscreen and in books has saved my life! Reading Jen Hatmaker and Liz Gilbert. Just finished TASK on HBO (SO GOOD!!!) and, my favorite recently, The Gilded Age. I love you, Kate! Thanks for bringing awareness to the chaos and craziness of going through cancer, but even more so, the aftermath of navigating the new normal (cue the barf emoji). xo
I'm reading "All The Way to the River" By Elizabeth Gilbert and its ALL your fault! Our family has deep addiction roots, sadly, and this book has been a wonderful companion as I navigate my own grief and loss. It's the kind of book you both hope will never end but also consume ravenously. Anyway, I started reading this after listening to your Everything Happens podcast episode with Liz. What a cool person. Great episode as always, and beautiful book everyone should read!